A couple of months ago I came across a blog post about a very interesting topic. When I saw the title of the post I immediately raised not one but both eyebrows and let out a quick hmm. As I read the content two thoughts occurred to me, 1) the writer of the post was a genius for being able to create such a wonderful deductive comparison between life and love and 2) someone was finally able to crack the code on my life of love. I chose to hold off on writing about this gem of an evaluation specifically for today.
This particular post described three different loves that we experience throughout our lifetime. I’m not sure what will resonate to you when you read it but it concisely read me my rights. As described, I went through the first love, I’m a survivor of the second and now here I am. All of the hard relationship work is finally paying off. Life no longer seems like a fuzzy blur.
Our story is 29 years in the making, even longer than that if you can believe some of the interesting facts surrounding us. I, officially, met him through a mutual friend while in junior high school. The irony is that we never spoke one on one, we were always in a group. His memory about me back then surpasses mine, tenfold. He remembers the way I used to wear my hair, the way I used to sit in my bedroom window with my arms folded and just shake my head at the silly conversations our mutual friends had. I only remember bits and pieces. He remembers vivid details. Before we reached this point in our lives, he also experienced the first love and survive the second.
We reconnected on Facebook, sarcastic surprise! But even though we were Facebook friends, we never interacted with each other except for the yearly happy birthday courtesy of the Facebook notification. There were no hi, how are you’s or anything. For two years we scrolled past photo and status updates until a quick scroll and eye trickery on a celebrity image (he would kill me if I told which celebrity) made me think it was him. When I realized the faux pas, I tagged him in the image and describe what happened. This was our first contact at the end of the second year of us becoming Facebook friends it was also the night before my birthday.
We messaged each other via Facebook for 3 days before he gave me his number. It would be another two days before I actually called because I wasn’t sure I wanted him to have mine. You see, I had built a mental wall around me for the purpose of not letting anyone in. The diligence of a determined man is like no other. We were pretty much telephonically inseparable after that. We lived 2 hours away from each other so an actual face-to-face wasn’t in the cards or at least that’s what I told myself. It turns out he didn’t mind driving 2 hours even if it was only to spend 1 hour just to get back on that 2 hour ride back. His actions and memory made it hard to discredit the crush he said he had all those years ago.
We found out a lot about each other that still has us both in awe. We found out that we have always lived in close proximity of one another since we were aged in the single digits I’m not just talking about the same neighborhood, either, we lived on the same street! We relocated together but never knew each other. Now here we were again living in the same state 2 hours away from each other. So what’s so special about that well we moved from the same state to the same state 6 months apart. Oh yeah, I almost forgot we also have matching birthmarks on our left thumb mine is lighter while his is darker and much like our wedding bands mine is thinner and his is wider.
I can’t say for sure why, throughout the years, we have always been so near yet so far to each other. For decades, we orbited each other in a seemingly parallel universe, one oblivious to the other. My theory is that we were always meant to be but in order for us to truly appreciate the role we were meant to have in our union, life had to teach us a few things and we were slow learners. We were seduced by the imagery of love the first time and the Venom of its Wrath the second time now we are in a place where we can create our own fairy tale because we know how to build upon the traits that we need so they can manifest into the traits that we want.
On 12/31/15 exactly one year after we officially realized that the powers that be were pushing us together no matter how hard we tried to convince ourselves that we were done with love, my husband and I were married. We are still shocked! For us there was no better way to end one year and begin another.
If you don’t have a best friend that can walk beside you when you’re strong and carry you with no hesitation when you’re weak you’re missing out. I would tell you to go out and look for the love you want but then you wouldn’t be home when the love you need comes knocking. I’m glad I was home.
“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”-Brad Paisley