Once is enough.

Hi Liz,

I met a guy through a mutual friend and we slept together.  I only wanted it to be a one-night stand.  The problem is, I’m not looking for a relationship but he keeps asking me to go out on dates.  I always make up an excuse of why I can’t go but I haven’t really told him that I didn’t want to see him again  because I don’t want to hurt his feelings .  It was just an in the heat of the moment kind of thing and I thought he would just get over it like I did.  I asked my friend to tell him but she doesn’t want to get in the middle.  What do you think I should do?

My opinion:

Your friend has the right idea. The actions that occurred were between two consenting adults. Now is not the time to try to hide behind anyone.

As for your one-nighter, you probably shouldn’t assume that he’s looking for a relationship. He might just want a round 2. Maybe you should just try the good old fashioned truth remedy. Continuing to give the poor guy excuses just gives him hope that he’ll catch you at a good time when your not so busy. If you’re worried about feelings he may or may not have, chances are greater that they will be hurt from your continued elusiveness. In this case, I think honesty is the best policy.

That’s my opinion.

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