Finding Your Purpose In A Sea Of Purposeless

As you get older you learn to appreciate the minor nuances of your childhood.  If only your most devastating problems, now, were solved with a quick trip to the toy store or a kiss to make it all better.

Then adulthood happens. You go from piggyback rides to car notes and from building sand castles to paying rent and mortgages. You go from having someone make all of your life decisions to being the sole proprietor of your fate.

Your past has a way of ejecting you into a present era of an unforeseen future, at least unforeseen by you.  For now, you probably feel like you’re surrounded by mixed molecules of emotion from different sets of people. Some that matter and some that never will. Some that speak with purpose and others who are the epitome of purposeless.

I’m with you on that. After years of moving through what I thought was beatitude with moments of gloom, the realization hit that instead I have moved through years of sorrow with the occasional glimpse of joy.

It seems that so many -too many- people have not mastered the art of self. So many people, myself included, have a profound disconnect with their purpose in life and too many others, sadly, wouldn’t be able to save their life if they had to put a name to their purpose.

Finding your purpose.


Don’t sit around waiting in the grips of hope, grace and mercy while praying that your purpose is out there looking for you and that at any moment your doorbell will ring. You can’t think it and expect it to miraculously appear. You need to experience it, experiment with it, and try it on to make sure it’s the perfect fit.

Finding your purpose requires the knowledge of two simple mathematical processes. You have to know how to add and when to subtract. Anything that interferes with your progress or downplays the importance of your purpose has to go. Seek out those things that uplift and teach because if you’re not learning you’re not growing. You will never be able to experience the amazing things the world has to offer and you will always be imprisoned by the limitations of your mind.

How do I find my purpose? Wait… What is a purpose again?

Your purpose is your passion-even if it’s constantly evolving.

Did you get that?  I said evolving NOT changing.


Your purpose can’t be a home designer today and a summer camp counselor/salon stylist tomorrow. You can experience those things on your journey to your purpose but once you find the one thing the really drives you, the flip-flopping ends and the evolution begins.

When you evolve, you take what you have, what you’re passionate about and what you love and you grow with it. You strategize on how to make it a bigger, better, beautiful and beneficial transformation.

caterpillars evolve into butterflies**wink wink**

How do I find it?

Step outside of your comfort zone.

Your comfort zone, while a sanctuary of rest, relaxation and comfort, can be the killer of all purposes. Your comfort zone does not contain enough oxygen to help your bravado thrive. It ensures stability but only within the rights of its own foundation. Comfort zones do not offer challenge, variation, or experience. They are mile markers that indicate you have successfully reached the end of a phase in your life. The period to your life sentence. It’s up to you to start a new paragraph.

Leave the fear behind.


Fear is one of our many natural instincts. It is also one of those things that we can afford to turn our backs on.

To succeed, you have to stop allowing your fear of the unknown dictate how much success you will endure. When there’s something out there that you really want, go and get it.

Mistakes are lessons not failures. 

I don’t know anyone who enjoys making mistakes. Do you?  Discovering your purpose in life means changing the way you view things. Things like mistakes. I have learned that mistakes can make you better. They are the gateway to learning and growth. Yes, they may be accompanied by  bits of embarrassment and slivers of shame but those feelings don’t have to be forever. The knowledge you gain…that’s forever.

Someone else’s experience cannot define your purpose.

If it worked for them it will work for you.

The lie detector test determined that was a lie.

Likewise, if a situation did not yield the results someone else wanted, that does not mean that situation will not set a positive course of events for you. Take your time and consider the options available to you. Rationalize your situation and the direction you would like to go to succeed. Life is not eternal but it sucks big hairy balls to live the life you have according to someone elses desires. Make your decisions count.

Your circle should not move counter-clockwise from your goals.

It’s no secret that friends are an important part of your social interactive growth. Whether good or bad, there’s no better way to stop and smell the roses or hit the ground running than with those you hold near and dear.

But, but, but….


Not all friendships were meant to support your growth and, for no reason other than the gravitational pull of life, some are just not capable of being a part of the support system you need to succeed. Other friendships, however, are toxic to your dreams and will only put in good effort to see you fail. Your life is your garden to grow what you will as you will. Don’t let weeds ruin it.

Surround yourself with people who seek elevation. Build networks with those who understand and appreciate the importance of hard work and encouragement.




  1. Hey Lisette,

    Great post, in a sea of purposeless, is soooo accurate.

    How much of our lives is without purpose? How much of it even matters?

    “What’s the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable.” – John Green

    I love your list of tips! For me purpose starts with just finding that thing you do that makes you feel alive and excited. That’s the first clue.

    Thanks for the encouragement,

    Nadalie, It’s All You Boo
    NEW POST: How Do I Slay My Goals?

    1. Nadalie, you are so right. For me, I found that my downfall was trying to do a little of everything but not taking the time to discover if I-even remotely- liked to do any ONE thing. I also allowed other people’s opinions form the foundation of my decisions…BIG NO-NO!!

      Thank you for responding.

  2. Great post. Love the quote about Fear. I find myself facing my fears with the thought that it’s scary right now. After I work through it, I wonder why it was so scary in the first place!

    Thanks for a great read 🙂

    1. Thank you! Yes our minds are powerful projectionists but no matter what, never give up!

  3. This is a great post! I just decided to go a different direction in my career and am in my 30’s. You’re right…it is never too late to start the life you want to live!

    1. It’s a scary move when you want or need to switch lanes but when your heart beats for it and it fits your goals the fear becomes a tickle.

      Good luck to you!

  4. That’s a pretty thoughtful post. I can resonate a lot with your ideas about purpose, especially regarding the evolution part. I feel that somewhere your passion connects with your purpose at some point of the time.

    However, it is necessary to figure out your fundamental area of passion before dots can be connected to your purpose.

    What would I do if money were not the issue? What am I good at which people often compliment me about?

    These two questions can help a lot to someone who has just started to figure out his or her passion!

    1. Absolutely! Thank you for your insight. It takes a lot of serious thought and continuous effort in this process. I think some people underestimate how arduous it really is to become who they are meant to be and, often, give up too soon because they have not planned their course of action.

  5. I discovered this about Ten years ago and I struggle to make others understand. You have explained how so clearly, thank you, I’m sharing this with everyone I know. 🙂

    1. In their defense, it’s not an easy plight. It doesn’t matter how many times they hear or read it, they need to be at a mental and emotional state of readiness in order for them to catch on and be able to shake the fear of the changes they will, inevitably, encounter as they embark on their journey.

      Please do share you never know when someone has reached the end of their stagnation period! Thanks!

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