Not A Lie But Not The Truth

Hi Liz,

I need your opinion. I have been talking to a guy for about 2 months. We live in 2 different states and started talking through a facebook group. I really like this dude and we have plans to meet up soon. I’m a little nervous to see him because I said something that wasn’t exactly true. I mean I didn’t lie but I didn’t tell the truth either

I told him that I was still a virgin. I said it because I didn’t want him to think I was loose. Now I feel kind of bad because I really believe he is being honest with me. Do you think I should tell him the truth?

My response:

I am confused. You said you didn’t lie but you didn’t tell the truth either. If you’ve had sex previously, you’re not a virgin. Virginity doesn’t come back so once it’s gone it gone.

If you’ve only had oral sex then, technically speaking, you can still consider yourself a virgin. Some people only classify vaginal penetration as the determining factor of loss of virginity. The fact still remains that you have had some form of a sexual experience of which I don’t think is grounds for lying.

If you are really interested in this guy, I don’t think it’s logical to start a relationship based on a lie. It will eventually come out. If you decide to be honest, I would probably just try to soften the blow by saying you didn’t want him to think differently of you. Then again, a lie is a lie. Ultimately it’s up to him to decide if he wants to continue to see you.

If you have a situation you would like my opinion on, please submit it to with Ask Liz in the subject.





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