October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month so let’s dive in with a few relationship red flags! Toxic relationships can be challenging to leave but, trust me, the rewards for walking away is better than the damage that can be caused by staying. Here are some signs that your relationship may not be a match made in heaven.
1. A consistent lack of trust. It doesn’t matter whether you don’t trust the other person, or they don’t trust you. Relationships are incredibly draining when there is a pervasive lack of trust. There’s never any peace.
2. You’re forced to compromise your values on a regular basis. When you’re put in the position to live outside of the tenets you consider to be most important, your self-respect suffers. A healthy relationship makes it easier to be at your best.
3. Your partner isn’t supportive of your success. They say you find out who your real friends are during times of distress, but the same can be said of periods of success. It’s not uncommon for friends and family to be unsupportive when you’re doing well. The last thing you want is a partner that displays this type of behavior.
4. Dismissiveness. Are either of you dismissive toward the other? Your interests and projects should be respected. This works both ways. If you’re dismissive of your partner, your relationship could be better.
5. Your partner is unreliable. If you can’t count on your partner, your life is more stressful than it needs to be, and your relationship is harming you.
6. Going somewhere else after work is more relaxing than going home. What’s worse than spending a stressful day at work and deciding you’d rather go sit in a coffee shop alone than go home to your partner? It’s nice to have a home that is an oasis from your everyday stressors.
7. A lack of affection. There’s a lack of closeness when affection wanes. Ask yourself why you no longer want to touch each other.
8. You resist confiding in your partner. When you have something sensitive to discuss, it would be nice to be able to rely on your partner. If you find yourself hesitant to share, it could be a sign that your relationship isn’t healthy. Ideally, your partner is also your best friend.
9. The relationship is harmful to any children involved. Relationships should enhance the lives of the children. Frightened or discouraged children are a warning sign.
10. You feel unsafe with your partner. No relationship is worth risking your safety. Make your health and well-being a priority in your life.
11. You can think of other people with whom you’d rather be in a relationship. Do you find yourself wishing you could be in a relationship with a friend or coworker instead of with your current partner? Something is amiss if you’re imagining yourself with someone else.
Hopefully, you’ve reached the conclusion that your relationship is healthy, supportive, and a source of inspiration.
If you believe your relationship is toxic, take the time to investigate further. Be willing to get help from a relationship professional, too. Toxic relationships aren’t worth your time or peace of mind.