Hi Liz,
I have been friends with this girl since junior high school. We have always called each other best friends, sisters or cousins and we hung out all the time. Now we are both in our 20’s and, even though we still get together, things don’t feel the same. Even our conversations feel different. Mostly boring. It seems like we talk about the same things over and over again.
We haven’t had any disagreements or anything that would make me feel this way but I just don’t really enjoy being around her anymore. Sometimes I feel bad because she asks me to do things with her or go places and I either ignore her calls and text messages or make excuses about why I can’t.
She’s a really cool girl but I don’t think we have anything in common anymore. Do I tell her or should I keep ignoring her until she gets the picture?
Here’s my thoughts:
Childhood friends are like no other! We experience so many firsts with them. They really are like family. The problem with childhood friends is that we don’t stay young. We all grow up. We develop our own individualities. We discover new, uncharted territories and things we once liked, we realize we no longer do.
What you are experiencing is normal. You may have outgrown the level of companionship your friend can provide. Listen, I know when you were younger, you probably joked about the things you two would do together as two old ladies but the reality is that, sometimes, friends grow apart. It happens.
You can and should be thankful for the friendship you had growing up because it’s a part of who you are today but who you have become just doesn’t fit into the constraints of who you were. It’s ok to walk away from it while it’s still a beautiful memory.
Lastly, don’t leave her hanging. You said yourself that she’s a cool girl. Do you want to create the type of distance you are looking for by being a douche bag? Let her know how you’ve been feeling. Her feelings may be hurt but in the end she will fall back and give you your space.
PS… If you can’t stand to part from her completely, try introducing her to some of your new interests. She’ll either like it and you’ll have that good ‘ol friendship back or she’ll hate it and reconsider the direction of your friendship. (Sounds like a win-win situation to me).
Good luck!
That’s my opinion.
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