Not A Lie But Not The Truth

Hi Liz,

I need your opinion. I have been talking to a guy for about 2 months. We live in 2 different states and started talking through a facebook group. I really like this dude and we have plans to meet up soon. I’m a little nervous to see him because I said something that wasn’t exactly true. I mean I didn’t lie but I didn’t tell the truth either

I told him that I was still a virgin. I said it because I didn’t want him to think I was loose. Now I feel kind of bad because I really believe he is being honest with me. Do you think I should tell him the truth?

My response:

I am confused. You said you didn’t lie but you didn’t tell the truth either. If you’ve had sex previously, you’re not a virgin. Virginity doesn’t come back so once it’s gone it gone.

If you’ve only had oral sex then, technically speaking, you can still consider yourself a virgin. Some people only classify vaginal penetration as the determining factor of loss of virginity. The fact still remains that you have had some form of a sexual experience of which I don’t think is grounds for lying.

If you are really interested in this guy, I don’t think it’s logical to start a relationship based on a lie. It will eventually come out. If you decide to be honest, I would probably just try to soften the blow by saying you didn’t want him to think differently of you. Then again, a lie is a lie. Ultimately it’s up to him to decide if he wants to continue to see you.

If you have a situation you would like my opinion on, please submit it to lizonlifeandlove@gmail.com with Ask Liz in the subject.

 

 

 

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We Can’t Be Friends…Or Can We?

Among the top age-old debates is the controversial question, can men and women be friends?

As a woman with male cohorts, I can confidently say that, yes, a platonic relationship can exist between the sexes. We can stand to gain valuable insight from the benevolence of having friendships with the opposite sex.

Having male friends, for me, stimulates my curious side. Through them I get to see a whole new look on life from the male perspective.  In some ways male companionship is an escape from all of the drama filled air some female friends can bring.

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It’s no secret that women can be highly emotional and irrational. I know this because I’m a woman and sometimes I just need a break. Therefore, having meaningful conversations with someone who does not emotion like me serves a therapeutic purpose. It’s almost like taking a break from myself.

There is the caveat of maturity, respect, and understanding that men and women should be mindful of, especially if you are already in a relationship with someone else.

Male and female friendships can be complicated by a superbug called feelings. It’s easy for one or the other or even both individuals to become smitten with the each other.

That’s why it’s important for you to have boundaries, guidelines, and expectations for the people you decide are worthy and necessary components to your life.

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My husband and I had this conversation about friendships and where we both stood on them.

Of course, we entered into our relationship with our own set of established comrades so having friends wasn’t much of an issue.

For both of us, especially after having been in previously unsuccessful and misunderstood relationships, we were ok with friends but understood they needed to be bound to a mutual agreement.

We both agreed that it was healthy to maintain contact with our friends and we both were cool with the phone calls, text messages, and social media interaction AS LONG AS IT REMAINED RESPECTABLE.

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When it comes to getting together for some face-to-face catching up, we are a package deal. Take it or leave it.

He and I both had to let go of friends of the opposite sex because they failed to pass the criteria that we agreed upon to maintain the comfort levels and functionality of our relationship.

His former friend wanted to talk and text but admitted discomfort in doing so when I was present. My former friend didn’t respect the boundaries of our relationship at all and insisted on striking up inappropriate conversations.

They both had to go.

It is the responsibility of you and your significant other to establish the foundation that your relationship is built on and to demand all outsiders respect it.

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If your friends of the opposite sex can go with the flow of the life you are trying to build as a couple. They are definite keepers.

Determining where your friends stand in your relationship isn’t the only obstacle you need to get a feel for. Your own personal feelings play a major role in whether or not you should part ways with that long time buddy.

Here are five questions that you can ask yourself to help  determine if your friendship is hazardous to your relationship.

  1. Have you ever fantasized about your friend?
  2.  Do you make comparisons between your friend and your significant other?
  3.  Is there a physical attraction for your friend?
  4.  Do you or your friend change the way you behave with each other when your significant other is around?
  5.  Would you be comfortable if your significant other was in a friendship with someone of the opposite sex that mirrored your behaviors and feelings?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then you need to take a step back and give yourself a reality check.

Your friendship is toxic to the sustainability of your relationship but before that, if you feel that type of behavior is okay, then you yourself may be toxic to the relationship.

If your relationship is your priority, friendships with those characteristics have no place in your life and it’s time to say goodbye.

Share your story. Have you been faced with the decision of having to choose between a friend and a mate?

 

Minnie’s Story

It has been a long time. For some, it may seem like it was yesterday, last week, last month or last year. Others, however, wake up and relive it day after day after day as another anniversary quickly approaches.

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Image courtesy of pixabay

There are three types of people who know what I’m talking about. Those who were onlookers, those who were responders and those who became victims.

September 11, 2001. The day NYC, briefly, stood still in disbelief and then erupted in fear and tragedy. The day the Twin Towers were brought down and, for a moment, the day we were all the same.

There was no black or white, male or female, rich or poor. There was only people in need of help and people who did. There were faces full of dust and tears and the shoulders and arms they rested in.

I was an onlooker. From the safety of the television, I saw terror unfold and the fear I had was almost debilitating. Yet, it would never compare to the experience of the responders and victims who had lived through it or perished because of it.

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Image courtesy of pixabay

Minnie’s Story.

We share the same blood line. We’ve shared family meals and moments and have supported each other in many ways.

Our commonalities end at the beginning of the terror we experienced that day. Like most people, I couldn’t imagine being in that situation. Minnie didn’t have to imagine. She was there.

Today, I’ve decided to share her answers to my questions about her experience on that day.

Originally, I considered shortening her responses for the sake of this post being too lengthy but decided that if I can’t erase her experience, why would I trim her account of it.

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On 9/11, you were fortunate enough to wake up and get ready for work. Unfortunately, you would be heading towards the world trade center that would be attacked no more than one hour after your shift begun. What do you remember about that day?

Minnie:

Yes I was. I can remember how beautiful the day was and how blue the skies were. My physical and mental being was very good and in a very happy place. I always felt some kind of way about working so far downtown; however this day of 9/11, I felt wonderful not thinking about the train ride or how far I had to go in order to get to work.

I lived in the Bronx on Gates Place, where my travel to work was not complicated by having to change trains.  I would take the #4 train all the way to my stop which was Bowling Green. I always got a seat, too.

On the day of 9/11, the beginning of my day was peaceful and I was really looking forward to getting into work with a little time to spare in order to pick up a bite to eat and coffee and to support the early morning street vendors that were out.

I can remember being on the train one stop before bowling green and all of a sudden hearing some type of noise or thump and then feeling the train move a little from side-to-side.

All of the passengers were a little confused as we all just looked at each other, as the train closed its doors and move on to my stop at Bowling Green.

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I remember there being more crowding than usual and, when I finally got outside, people were gathered in groups looking up. Some were still walking but really fast and there was debris falling down.

As I walked I noticed more people were looking up and pointing and when I looked up I saw a plane in the first tower of the world trade center. That’s when sadness kicked in.

In my mind, I thought it was a terrible accident, but then as soon as that thought surfaced, another plane zoomed into the second tower and I knew that was no accident. That’s when fear took over. Panic broke out and my heart began to beat faster than I thought possible.

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Did you work in one of the towers or were you working in the surrounding area?  

Minnie:

I worked in the surrounding area. I ran to my job which was just adjacent to the world trade center.

I remember people screaming, running and yelling. When I got to my job, I was already in tears and everyone else was screaming, crying, making phone calls and running around trying to figure out what was going on.

I called my daughter and told her we were being attacked-she was home that day and was asleep. I told her to turn the TV on and watch the news.

Then the phones and everything else all shut down and there was no more contact-seemingly with the outside world.

A very short time afterwards, we received word that there was an attack taking place and the pentagon was also attacked by another plane.

We were told to form groups that we could leave with. I was in a group with five of my co-workers. As we left, we made a pact to stay together, however, that did not happen once we got outside.

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We heard something like an explosion that set fire to our fear and we got separated. I found myself alone trying to find my way out of all the chaos but couldn’t.

I had a blue pin-stripped skirt suit and heals, which I removed so I could run and, even then, it seemed no matter where I ran, I got nowhere.

The crowds were overwhelming and my feet were pounding with pain and began to swell and then later bleed.

The debris and dust were so thick and dark/foggy, making it very hard to see and even breathe.

I can remember trying to run across a street and got struck by a yellow cab. I kept running but it still seemed like I was going in circles. All of those short and narrow streets seemed more like a death trap.

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I kept running and thinking about my daughter, my life was flashing before me and I kept thinking how was she going to feel loosing her mother. What would she do, and does my family even know that I’m in this mess?

I cried out very loud, I  was weak and I began to pray asking God to forgive me for my sins and save my life because people were dying. Seeing people jumping from the building and knowing others were burning to death was too much for me.

There was one point where I had no more energy to even carry my purse so I threw it away.

The screams were so severe and seeing people with blood and dust all over them was extremely frightening. It felt like a horror movie but it was a reality!

I ran until I couldn’t anymore. I needed to rest, but felt if I did, I would die. My energy was gone. I could not run anymore, so I continued to pray really hard while sitting/squatting down by a van or some sort of vehicle.

I prayed and prayed. I literally heard the voice of God. He said I was saved and then literally out of nowhere, a co-worker called out my name! I will just call her (G) She was just standing there!

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It was like God just placed me in her sight and She said “Minnie”-and she reached out her hand and I looked up and took her hand and she pulled me up and we hugged and she then looked at me and she said “You Know We Are Going To Be Friends For Life, Right”?

At that time I was also still feeling pain from being struck by the yellow cab along with everything else, but when she pulled me up I didn’t care about the pain anymore.

We both started to run. I, distinctly, remember that she didn’t show any tears, she was just focused on getting out! I was happy to see her but still afraid of getting trapped.  The pain in my feet was excruciating. I had to block it out and think about living.

The buildings of both towers were continuously burning as people were diving out of the windows and the bodies hitting the ground was  devastating.

I could not stop crying and screaming, still thinking about my daughter and wondering if she was ok. There was no further contact via phone. The subways were shut down and nothing, vehicle wise, could make in it or even out of that area.

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Police and fire trucks were everywhere! People were being directed to go on the Brooklyn bridge, but my co-worker said no-way because all we could think about at that point was if we go on the bridge and there is another attack that would be the next place.

When the first tower began to fall, we weren’t out of the area yet and the noise of the falling buildings sounded like my brain was being cracked-it was extremely loud like it was in my head and was capable of mentally crippling me.

Then the second one started falling down. I saw them both just crumble down. It was unbelievable that there was so many people still in those building as they slowly fell down.

Seeing this made me feel like I was going to lose my mind. It was one of the most horrific feelings of knowing so many people were dying all at once.  I knew people who worked in those buildings.

One of my best friends worked there and I could not stop thinking of her. I had other friends that worked in the towers. Some of them died.  However, we had to keep running.

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My co-worker would sometimes make stops because I was in so much pain with my feet and we both were suffering from exhaustion, and needing to have a drink of water.

She was my guardian angel that day and she stuck by my side the entire time even when I felt I couldn’t do it anymore.

I was crying and screaming and she helped me through the grace of God. I truly believe that and I’m grateful to her.  She and God kept me going. She was such a warrior through it all.

We continued to run and made a brief stop to catch our breaths and, finally, was able to get some water.

My co-worker and I finally found our way out of the debris and the chaos. We ran from lower Manhattan to Midtown and stopped at the Omni Hotel on 41st Street and 5th Avenue.

That’s where we stayed. My co-worker actually lived in New Jersey and I lived in the Bronx and subways were still shut down and other transportation was not available.

I can remember being at work in Yonkers, New York on that day and being told the office was closing. Transportation was nearly at a standstill. How did you get home?

Minnie:

I was, eventually, able to take a taxi.  We stayed at the hotel until the next morning. When we got up we prayed together. I had no money on me or anything. My co-worker paid for me a taxi to get home which was around 10:30 the next morning.

I was still crying in the cab and when I finally got to my neighborhood, I felt a little more relaxed and so happy and relieved to see my daughter as she was to see me. We hugged so tight and we both cried all over again.

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Minnie and her daughter, Teneshia

I got a little rest but then the pain from being struck by the car was resurfacing and I decided I need to see a doctor. Honestly, I was still in shock and panic mode. When I got to the doctor I explained what happened and they were very attentive to me.

My tests came back as me being ok except for a large bruise on my thigh area however, it was treatable with over the counter medications.

Since then, many people have had to deal with the mental and physical stress caused by the traumatic events of that day. How were you affected?

Minnie:

My state of mind was, definitely, concerning to the doctors. They immediately directed me to get counseling and I accepted it. Depression, on-going nightmares, fear of any type of noise, especially planes and fear of taking trains was a real issue for me. Physically, my feet were badly damaged. Years later, I was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocyte Leukemia…too emotional to talk about but I am still being treated.

**(there was so much I left out but I gave the best that I can.
My emotions are still fresh from this devastation, especially with this new diagnosis – Minnie)**

What type, if any resources were made available to you to help you cope?

Minnie:

I am certified with the WTC health program as a 911 survivor, where ongoing counseling is offered, and payments for medically necessary treatment which is located at Bellevue Hospital where they also provide on-going monitoring for any present/future healthcare issues.

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♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I am grateful to Minnie for sharing her story with me and allowing me to share it with you.

We will never know the outcome of our today until tomorrow. Some people, unfortunately, won’t know it even then. No one expected the events that changed the lives of so many that day. No one thought they wouldn’t make it home that night.

Do you still take life for granted?

A Cure For Chaos

20170827_161409It’s that time of the year again. The slow trickle of the back-to-school celebrations have commenced! Newbie back-to-school parental units, fret not. You’ll catch on.

This is the time of year that your home becomes more hushed during the day and bedtimes arrive a little earlier at night.

For parents that means the first and last sips of your coffee, tea, wine or beer and that relaxing sensation from that shower, bath, or book will be accompanied by the heavenly AAAH of our mental do not disturb feathers ACTUALLY not being ruffled.

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Much like the changing out of summer clothing for fall attire, our school aged home dwellers must change from vacation mode vigilantes to studious independents.

That means homework takes priority over leisure and outdoor shenanigans may be cut down as an earlier curfew takes the lead.

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That means our big little people will be standing at attention ready to start their day every morning and armed with energy and enthusiasm to finish strong every evening.

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*sigh* Yeah, I didn’t believe that one bit while I was writing it either but I figured it was worth a shot. You know how that whole “Speak It Into Existence” concept goes…

Everything always looks better in black and white. In reality, however, it sometimes looks like chaos.

During the summer vacation, there were probably things that you loosened the reigns on and other things that were easier to keep up because there was no early morning wake up calls or late night homework sessions.

Now that school is back in the equation, it can quickly become exhaustively overwhelming trying to keep your home in order and your kids motivated to stay on track without becoming a nagging, screaming, scowling sea witch.

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Whether you work outside of the home or are a SAHWAH parent, you need to begin your bid for organization early to combat the back-to-school crazies.

Your method of organization may vary greatly depending on the ages  of your children but the need for organization will remain, nevertheless.

I thought I’d share a few things that have remained consistent for me year after year and how I’m combatting my biggest pet peeve.

Most kids are never ready to go back to school. Usually, the only time they, happily, wake up early is the only day mom and dad can afford to sleep in late.

Getting your kids back on an appropriate sleep schedule before ‘D-day’ (or Yay-day depending on which side of the spectrum you stand) should be on your top list of things to do. It helps the morning madness when they have had their practice bedtime/wake up drills.

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Make Space. It’s a new school year. Get rid of the old items taking up space in your home. I don’t know about you but I find it extremely hard to focus around clutter. Less clutter means less cleaning.

Those old books, clothes and shoes can and should be donated. Those papers that you have that you may need one day but haven’t looked at in the last year…GARBAGE! If you absolutely can’t part with them, use bins and folders.

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Bins are your friends and folders are your soldiers. Use them to keep track of assignments, trips, projects, and notices.

Kids are huge contributors to the thumbs down movement for homework, chores, curfews and early bedtimes.

Are your army fatigues washed and pressed? You may be going to war on this one because none of those things are fun but someone has to do it…and it shouldn’t just be YOU!

My sweet not so little dust bunnies are a very soon to be 13-year-old, young lady and a stuck at age 10 for 5 more months, young man and they are chairpersons to the cause.

In the years past, I’ve spent immeasurable amounts of time stuck in repetitions of “Is your homework complete?” “Are your chores done?” “Who left dirty dishes on the table? Or in the bedroom? Or in the living room? And yes, there has even been a cup or two found in the bathroom. WTH???!!

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(Can you tell what my pet peeve is?)

This year, I’m rebelling. I am going to stomp my feet, fold my arms, and put in a lot of pouting and eye rolling work…or, maybe, I can teach them the pros and cons of responsibility vs. irresponsibility.

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Now, I don’t want to come off as superhero Mean Mom (M&M for short) but I do want to give my kids an incentive to be a bit more responsible while maintaining some levels of my sanity.

Let’s be honest. It’s a struggle to maintain the activities of daily living for more than one person. Heck, sometimes it’s a struggle to manage them for just yourself. That’s why the word HELP is a common daily verb in my home.

With all hands on deck, our day-to-day activities are accomplished in a timely fashion without much hassle and headache.

My solution? A chore chart that will help them stay on top of their responsibilities and their math $kills!

I used a similar chart for my two oldest children, who are now in their 20’s. They survived!

This is an example of what the completed chart could look like:

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Grab your chart here!  Print it out and customize it to suit your needs.

I include duties that are non-negotiable non-payable requirements. These are things that MUST be done, like it or not. While they will not earn an allowance for them, duties can affect the amount of their payout at the end of the week.

Chores are those things they can help you do around the house to make it run smooth…that you don’t mind rewarding them for.

Bonuses are those extra odd and ends that they can do. In my home, if one washes the dishes, the other can get the bonus for sweeping the kitchen floor or emptying the dishwasher. (Hi-five that teamwork action 😉).

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Penalties will pretty much speak for themselves. After the first 2 weeks of being penalized, my beautiful doves prefer not to use it at all. (Responsibility download complete).

Best wishes to you and your scholars for a successful and less stressful school year!

 

 

The Balancing Act

Life is a huge circus and you’re the tight rope walker.

-Liz McKenzie

At any given time, any one of us can be juggling a cluster of life’s necessities in one hand – education, work, family, religious and social obligations, etc – and the residual effects of life’s necessities in the other hand – happiness, sadness, stress, contentment, fatigue, etc.

In order to remain functional, you have to compose a modus operandi that will keep you from becoming a casualty of your own gravitational pull.

Finding the right balance between the various aspects of your life is critical to the progression of your purpose.

You manuever through milestones towards your goals but not without a teeter here and a totter there.

If any one element demands or steals more of your time, the other areas will be starved of the energy required to keep you balanced.

1. First things first. You have to want balance. You are who you say you are and you can do whatever you set your mind up to do; whether it’s to fail or succeed. Therefore, making a conscious effort to seek a healthy balance in your life puts you in a better position to obtain it.

2. Identify your life components. In order to understand where you’re off-balance, you need to be familiar with…well, YOU. What are your daily activities and your obligations, your needs and your wants. Where do they rival?

3. Prioritize. Now that you know the who and the what’s put them in their place. It’s not always easy to tell your wants to take a backseat to your needs. It’s even harder to distinguish which need you should tackle first. I wish I could pinpoint it for you but, unfortunately, only you can sort through that stack.

4. Break it down. You won’t find balance in one lump sum and you won’t be able to magically pull it out of a hat. It takes time, patience and work! Set short and long-term goals to facilitate habit and to monitor your progress. So you can celebrate, of course!!!

5. Speaking of break, don’t forget to take one. Physical and mental fatigue are vultures when it comes to balance. It’s okay to walk away or find a mental retreat to help rebuild your momentum.

6. Share the load. Even Superman needed help. Enlisting people you trust with tasks that can be executed without your physical presence frees up a lot of time for you to tend to another part of your garden.

7. No is a real word. Sometimes, maintaining your balance means saying no. You can’t be everywhere at once or do everything everybody wants you to. Your stamina won’t stand for it and your balance will suffer. Choose your participation wisely, not every situation pairs well with your goals.

8. Activate your social namaste. All work and no play makes Jack and Jill B-O-R-I-N-G! The key is finding the right people to relax, relate, and release with. Spend time with people who invigorate and nurture and support you. Stay away from negative vibes!

9. Family Ties. Your family is one of the reasons why you strive for more in life. Take time to give them your undivided attention. Memories last forever so make some.

10. Don’t forget your needs. I saved the best for last! You are pivotal to maintaining your balance so, naturally, you need to cater to yourself. So what does your happy dance look like? Massage, meditation, exercise, hobbies, connecting with your spirituality. Whatever it is, make time for it.

11. Leave the guilt behind! I felt it was important to throw this in because it was one of my personal offenses. It’s almost shameful to hear me say that when I used to “steal” time for myself, I FELT GUILTY!! What kind of fraggernackle bull cocky is that? Why the heck should anyone feel remorseful for taking care of themselves and doing what makes them happy? You’re not stealing time, it’s yours! Drop the guilt!! You don’t it. It serves no purpose to you. It’s a fake supporter to your cause!

I hope these tips are able to assist you on your journey to stabilizing your balance.

I am always eager to hear what works for you so feel free to share!

An Attitude for Gratitude

G-R-A-T-I-T-U-D-E!

Gratitude is defined as the quality of being thankful and a readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. Gratitude helps you bring recognition to the value of every aspect of your life and the lives of others.

In my observations, it was apparent that while people issued thank you’s, there was a huge gap between the thank you and the gratitude.

1499365595873and realized that I was just as guilty of not overindulging in it as so many others.

To be honest, when I first began this journey into the dissection of gratitude, saying thank you and being grateful was one big melted crayon. I wasn’t aware that they were two separate entities that were co-dependent on one another.

Consider this:

In the supermarket, an elderly couple were waiting for the cashier to ring up their items. The wife left the line and returned with ice cream sandwiches. She said to her husband, “I know how much you like these so I grabbed you a box”. The husband, who had been looking at a magazine never glanced up but said, “Thanks”. grandparents-962866_640The wife became visibly irritated and told her husband he was very ungrateful. He looked up and said, “What? I said thank you”.

At home that night, the supermarket couple came to mind. This time in a different way. While I could only see the side of her face, the elderly woman’s posture gave away her disappointment in her husband’s, seemingly, lack of appreciation for her thoughtfulness.

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At the same time, her husband, whose face was in full view when he turned to look at her, had an expression of genuine shock and confusion because he overestimated the power in his thank you.

It was easy to put myself in both of their shoes. I understood what made her feel unappreciated and I also understood why he thought thank you was enough. There was a void of gratitude or, at the very least, their use of it was very weak.

Here’s another one:

When your mind is set on something the expectation is that you get what you see at face value. You tend to not plan for deviations. You know what you want and you expect to get it.

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For almost 2 weeks, a friend’s car had been out-of-order. I offered to transport her to and from work until her vehicle was ready. One day, however, I was not going to be available and, 2 days prior, she was informed that she would need to find an alternate way to get to work.

She was bothered instead of being grateful that, for 9 work days out of 10, I made sure that she made it to and from a workplace that I was not employed (I work from home). She allowed one deviation to drop a nest of entitled hornets into her happiness bag.

The verdict was clear. When you are not well versed in gratitude, one stray hair can ruin your whole hairstyle.

Having an Attitude of Gratitude humbles the materialistic selfish desires of the human nature and teaches you to recognize the value of what is already in your possession.

You learn to appreciate more what you have and look forward to what can be yours and then you learn to appreciate that. You learn to celebrate what’s current and constant in your life and, through it all, your happiness increases.

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I started thinking about the countless times I was less than appreciative. Those times when my thank you just didn’t match my gratitude and I was NOT impressed.

If you thought about yours, how many could you count? (Hint-Even one is too many).

In comes the gratitude challenge.

The act or expression of gratitude has taken a backseat to narcissism-but not always on purpose. Sometimes it gets rusty and dusty from under-utilization.

I created this challenge is to encourage you to:

  1. Look at yourself. Where you have been, where you want to go, and where you could possibly end up. Your vision can change with the blink of an eye.
  2. Look outside of yourself. gratitude-1251137_640Recognize that you’re not as self-sufficient as you think you are. From the insects to the sun and the gardeners to the teachers, there is someone doing something beneficial to you.
  3. Look to those around you. Be willing to be a source of direct and indirect motivation, positivity and generosity. In some way, someone at sometime was all those things to you.

I believe gratitude is something that should come full circle but it has to start somewhere. In order to make big, meaningful and permanent changes you have to:

  • Make the decision to change
  • Make the committment to change and
  • Start small
  • Share your gratitude and teach others to recognize and appreciate their own beautiful messes.

Once you start living intentionally in gratitude, the world will open up, take on a new look and have new meaning. Are you ready? (Click the image below).

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I’m Ready For The Challenge!

WEDNESDAY PEP-TALK

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Move to the beat of your own drum. Everyone is not going to support you on your journey and some people will try to convince you that you’re going the wrong way. That’s why it’s so important to develop and strengthen your knowledge of self. When you know who you are, what you want, and where you want to go, it’s easier to filter and dispel the naysayers and success blockers. Tune out the obstacles and keep moving.

A Place For Everything

What’s a gal to do? I am almost envious of you awesome bloggers who can so eloquently and creatively share your footprints in the sand. The niches of the blogging world are endless and you guys dress it up beautifully!!

As I become Dora la exploradora in my mind, I venture off on a niche adventure to walk in your shoes.

Here’s what I got so far:

Fashion – Well, I’m not really big on fashion and can’t, for the life of me, figure out the makeup maze.IMG_0192 Anything past lip gloss and eyeliner would require lifeguard assistance… or some balloons, big red shoes, and a big red nose.

Art & Design – NOT. A. CLUE. IMG_0196Next

Money Business– Oh you money savvy sweethearts! Where do you come from? From what cloth are you cut? If only I could have one single drop of your financially free, coupon cutting, sale soliciting blood run through my veins.

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👍🏾TOTAL FLOP👎🏾

Health & Fitness – I like donuts and hate exercise. I’ve been doomed from my first bite. The end.

Foodies – Thank you for recipes that help maintain my fluffiness.

Pets – Let’s see… well, I do have a 65lb dog

who thinks he’s a cat and an 8lb cat whom we, seriously, call Cujo Kitty.

I may be able to get Cesar Milan and Jackson Galaxy on board for an awesome premier of cat-dog live.

Hmm…

Guess I better have a chocolate-2202127_640 because I’m not myself when I’m hungry.

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So, here it goes.

Walking in your shoes is DEFINITELY not MY niche. I would probably be my only follower if I even attempted to recreate the greatness of any of you.

So why do people do it?

Why replicate when you are already in possession of an original? IMG_0190 Why do people venture so far out of their zone to dance with success?

My guess? Chlorophyll. Yep, that must be it! Chlorophyll gives grass all of that rich, vibrant green color and the other side is full of it.

I don’t doubt the vanity of the green over yonder. You shouldn’t either. As a matter of fact, it shouldn’t even ping on your radar if your “agenda” is to succeed in your own element, in your own shell, in your own shoes; filled with your own interests, your own experiences and your own point of view.sheep-161389_640

If your agenda is nothing more than to imitate then please, by all means, continue to gaze and graze.

Guess #2 Self Doubt. If, in your mind, success is only achievable by becoming a surrogate to and of someone else’s hopes, dreams and hard work skeptical-2245968_640 then you are, unfortunately, a stranger to the meaning of success and possess a great amount of self-doubt.

Believe you can and you will succeed or fail.

Guess #3 Fear. We all have it and that’s ok!  I guess, it seems easier and safer to do what someone else has already done. equilibrist-1831016_640 (1) The risk factor is already subdued, right. Not at all. You still run a risk of mistake and failure.

Why not take the mistakes from YOUR ideas and learn from them? Why not use your failures as a pilot for your dreams. What doesn’t work go back in and rewrite it. Don’t let fear rationalize and minimize your potential.

Everyone and everything has its own place in this kooky world. It’s up to you to find yours.

 

Just a little food for thought

Are you happy with what you see and where you’re going? It’s not too late to make some changes.

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What is one thing you think you need to change that would be beneficial to your future? Is it a work in progress or is something holding you back? What do you need to do to make it happen?

The future is not set in stone until it becomes yesterday.

#makeachoice

#makeaplan

#makeithappen

 

It’s The Simple Things

Can you believe it? The year is halfway complete!  While we were doting on one task or other, Father Time whispered sweet nothings into the winds of Mother Nature’s kiss.

When we weren’t looking, Autumn turned to Winter and Winter became Spring as Summer patiently waits in the shadows.

Amid the changes of the seasons, some of us may have gotten caught up in the rapture of one task or other and forgot to stop and breathe.

You put off for tomorrow what should have been done today…3 (hundred) times over. Tomorrow, you will make that call. Tomorrow, you will stop by to say hello. Tomorrow, you will spend more quality time with friends and family.

Sometimes, tomorrow doesn’t come. Sometimes, that last hello is the final goodbye.

Life will always leave us with some regret. We’re not superhuman and can’t be everywhere each and every time but we can -and should- make time for the little things. For the simple things. It’s those little things that mean so much to someone whom you care for.