Getting to know you. Getting to know all about you.

I bet you sung that, didn’t you?

As the season of love approaches, I thought it would be appropriate to take Cupid’s bow and arrow and RIP IT TO SHREDS!

The thought of getting shot with an arrow from a bow does not signify love. Likewise, having a little guy in a diaper do it isn’t the least bit romantic either (unless you’re into that kind of thing).

There is so much more to love than the aesthetic images that get displayed on TV and social media.

The Anatomy of Love.

When you love someone you love them unconditionally with all of their flaws and faults.

Love is not just what you see on the surface. Love is all the padding underneath that brings it all together.

Love is understanding.

Love is respect.

Love is a nurturing.

To love someone means you have to get to know that person. How could you possibly understand, respect or nurture that which you do not know?

Hmmm…..

How well do you know yourself?

I’ve spoken to many people who aren’t even sure of who they are. Yet they continuously go on this quest for love, day in and day out, not realizing that what they seek they won’t find because their search is unrealistic to needs they don’t even know exist.

Look at it this way. If you wear a size 8 1/2 shoe but the retailer only has a size 8 in the color YOU MUST HAVE, do you buy the shoe? Yes, you can get your foot in it but how well does it really fit? Is this purchase worth the pain? Better yet, how long before you regret the purchase and get rid of the shoes altogether? Why give in to the desired look when you can wait for the proper fit?

“If you don’t know your worth, people will put a cheap price tag on you.” ~ Matshona Dhliway

I got news for ya…YOU WILL TOO! When you  begin to accept your self-worth at someone else’s face value, you allow them to mold you. You allow them to determine who you are, what you can do and what’s best for you. You allow them to hypnotize you into believing that you’re better at a discount and who doesn’t love a discount? Well, when it comes to your happiness, you shouldn’t! Get to know yourself so you can attract what’s right for you. Learn to love being your own company first and the company of the right people will follow.

Now that Me has met Myself and I you’re all set to sail the seven seas on a quest for love, right? WRONG! That was just the introduction.

So, how do you find love?

You don’t!

If your only mission is to walk around randomly choosing people and saying, “Hey there! I think you could be ‘The One’, you’re setting yourself up to fail. Plus,

#1 You’re going to look batshit crazy and

#2  That’s  just not how love works.

First, get rid of the desperation. Find your comfort zone and let your confidence shine. Take your time and meet new people and get to know them because, believe it or not, you’re still getting to know yourself. Put away the application for marriage and pull out the license to have fun, explore and learn. You might be surprised to find out that things you once liked it, you no longer do and the people you once hung out with you have, seemingly, outgrown.

Sound familiar? Find out why here.

Next, what do your expectations look like? Now, I’m not saying that anyone should have to lower their standards but if you’re looking for someone who can take you shopping every week, take you on a vacation every other week, give you a house, car and an allowance you’re not looking for love. You’re not even looking for a fiancé, you’re looking for a financier or a parent. There’s a difference. Get yourself together!

Finally, meeting someone and falling in love is about compatibility. It’s about being the same but different. It’s about being friends. True friends. Best friends. It’s about each person bringing their own individuality to the table and the other person accepting it. If you have not found the true level of comfort in yourself how can you expect the right person to be attracted to who you really are.

Likewise, its common but absurd to think that you can change whatever you dislike about another person. The only person that you can change is Y.O.U. So to remain fair to yourself, the other person and the situation, doesn’t it make sense to KNOW yourself; To learn what’s acceptable to you and what is absolutely non-negotiable about you before you add someone else to the equation?

That’s like going to a crab-feast that only serves imitation crab meat. Completely false advertising.

Anything else? Yep, but it’s too much to include here so I’ll leave you with this:

• Find solace in solo pajama parties.
• Get to know yourself.
• Find the definition of yourself and make it clear to anyone who shows interest in the meaning.
• Don’t rush into the thought of love-thoughts change often.
• Take your time in preparing yourself for the moment love opens your door.

Get to know yourself!!!!