Do you think online dating and a long distance relationship can actually work?
Let me address these two situations separately. The subject of online dating has been discussed between friends and I on many occasions. When online dating first came on the scene my acceptance of it was negative. My reaction was like many – you don’t know who you’re speaking to through a computer. After giving it some thought, it dawned on me that there really is no difference between searching for a love interest online vs. organically meeting someone in the streets. You don’t know either one of them. Everything about either meeting is purely superficial. You see the looks. You see the clothing. You hear the voice and their story and you pretty much develop your impression based on that information. You know absolutely nothing about that person until you ‘get to know them’. I mean, let’s be honest even if you were introduced to someone through a friend you really don’t know what that person is about. They can be the nicest person ever…as a friend…but turn out to be top-notch a–holes as you get to know them in a relationship. So to that I say, if online dating is your preferred choice for meeting people then go for it.
Long distance relationships is a whole other ball game. For some people it may work for others it’s an absolute waste of time. When considering a long distance relationship there are a lot of things that you need to take into account.
If sex is no biggie because you have no intention of giving it up to anyone other than the one you wish to marry then, of course for obvious reasons,that should be common ground. If it’s not or even if it’s up for consideration by the other party, I would probably continue my search. That sounds like a daily toss of a coin and what are the odds of it always landing on no sex today?
How much of it do you need? Are you okay with just telephone calls or quick text messages to say hello? People in long-distance relationships have to have respect for the fact that the other person will not be readily available to them. You can’t just opt-in for a surprise lunch or dinner date or a random movie night. Had a rough day and need a hug? Get a dog, cat, rabbit…whatever will suffice for the moment because your significant other can’t make it. Everything about your interaction is pretty much scheduled. Also, there’s little to no space and friend sharing so you will have to respect the fact that the other person will be having fun with other people. If you thrive for attention, this won’t work for you.
When you say long-distance how much does that cost? You will want to schedule a date to see each other. Planning is easy but how much will it be to make it happen? If the cost of travel is too high you should expect to visit about as often as your favorite holiday appears on the calendar. On the other hand you might be able to wing it if the two of you don’t expect extravagant dinners, concert tickets, flowers, and luxury hotel stays (if it’s not appropriate for the visitor to sleep under the same roof).
Is it there? Do either of you have an overactive imagination? If, at the first unanswered call, you or your boo thang gets anxiety and starts questioning who the other person is with, please move on. I see jealous and crazy on the horizon.
To sum it up, yes, I do think it’s possible for a long distance relationship to work if boundaries and expectations are made clear early on. Distance can, definitely, be problematic so both parties need to be mentally and emotionally secure before venturing into that realm of dating if you are seeking something more than just a casual relationship.
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